I wasn't a particularly easy child. I was the oldest, the rebel, the one with MAJOR attitude, the trial. I tested my parents at every corner until the day I got married. I'm sure that's one of the reasons my dad let me do everything he did...just to get me out of the house. He let me move to the Bay Area with my best friend when I was 18 (and only half way through my senior year in high school) to sell pest control door to door. He was more than happy to send me to Russia for six months after that to teach English although I never made it because I got engaged to Hubby, whom I'd met while selling pest control. To be fair, he warned Hubby about marrying me, I think so he could have a clear conscience, but then pushed me out the door and out of his house forever when Hubby didn't listen.
That all being said, he's always warned me that my time would come; that God is just and would never put him through all that without some kind of reward in the end. You would think that as a righteous father, seeing me all grown up with a happy family of my own would be reward enough. Oh no. Watching me raise my daughter, on the other hand, has brought him tremendous joy. Joy that radiates from every pore. (Joy that I'd like to smack right off his face every time he witnesses a choice moment with my daughter.)
Anyway, this treasure of mine (that I, for the life of me, cannot remember why I wanted so bad) has outdone herself again. The last couple of days she's been mumbling a new phrase. A phrase that up until now has been foreign to this household; a phrase I am certain she doesn't really understand but insists on using nonetheless. Case in point, a couple of days ago:
"#4, it's time for a nap."
"I ate you, mommy."
"What?" (she ate me?)
Louder: "I ATE you, mommy."
Did she really just mean what I think she meant? She's TWO for crying out loud. So I test the waters for the next couple of days.
"#4, let's get in the bath."
"I ate you, mommy."
"#4, it's time to do your hair."
"I ATE you, mommy."
"#4, if you say that again I'm gonna smack your bum."
Quieter and slower, for effect, I guess, "I ate you , mommy."
Light little tap on the butt from me and then...
"I ATE YOU MOMMY! (sobs) I want my Daddy!"
"If you can find him, you can have him." (Heehee...he's off at work where all the perfect parents hide until the end of the day when they can come home and rescue the poor abused children.)
I haven't shared this jewel with my dad, yet. I'm waiting for Christmas. It will be his favorite gift.
#3 gave me another Mommy-Self-Confidence boost today as well. We were getting dressed for pre-school and I had brought down an undershirt to wear, well, under his shirt. We fought about this little detail for 5 whole minutes as he insisted on wearing it over his shirt. He wears undershirts to bed, afterall, without anything else over them. He finally conceded but not before yelling, "You don't know ANYFING, mom."
No kidding, kid.
Now for some happier news. #2 is the shortest in his class. It's official. They all lined up and measured for class pictures so the taller kids would not hide the shrimps. He's the shrimpiest of the shrimps. Even the shrimpiest girl beat him that day. I tried to tell him she was probably wearing thick soled boots or something but he didn't buy it.
"Nope. Sorry, mom."
"But you're the fastest."
"Yeah." (big grin) "I am the fastest."
Being short has it's advantages.
#2 was also the last kid in his class to lose a tooth. We're half way through second grade and he barely lost his first tooth about 2 months ago. But happy day...a couple of days ago he lost his second tooth. Thanks to a swift fist from his older brother (not sure I'm so happy about that one, although I'm told it was an accident) he is officially toothless for Christmas. And we couldn't be happier about it. Hubby was wise enough to click a picture of the snaggle tooth right after fist contact and right before extraction. I thought I'd post it here. #2 is quite proud of his gnarly grin.
#2 is a poser by nature. In honor of his "Toothless for Christmas Status", I will post a couple
more pictures of his sweetness.
Celebrating Holy Week (Days 5&6)
6 years ago
19 awesome people said...:
AWEEEEE!! Awe.
Love the story about Gracie. She is by all means a "girl". Somedays Lindsay and I but heads all day. Yesterday was one of those days. It took her 1 1/2 hours to clean her room and not because it was that messy.
JD looks mighty fine without his tooth!
gotta love kids' honesty.
Sheesh, I can't wait for the sass to come. Not to mention the fist fights. And where the crap can I get my hands on one of those plastic bums? That pic is awesome!
BTW, I changed the question on my blog, so there's no excuse why you can't answer it this time.
I hate to tell you this, but #4 gets worse before she gets better. I have one of those myself. Those girls, they can be so strong willed! I expect more stories until about six, when they magically improve. It might be the all day school.
I love the prelude about your pest control days and inner naughtiness. I couldn't really tell....
ha! Just think someday you will be like your dad and watch #4 struggle with one of her kids. She will hate it as much as you do!
My parents do the same thing to me. It bugs. They always try to remind me that Porter is "just a baby". Cut the crap and stop being on his side all the time.
#4 reminds me of my little sister when we were growing up. She was always the "hard" child. I love the way #3 says ANYFING. #2 is such an adorable poser. I don't hear much about #1?!?!
Keep these mommy posts coming I am learning a lot from you!
You were in the Bay Area the same time as me and the Greenan sisters...we should've been friends then! (we could've snuck into dance clubs together!)
Blog Stalker here! (Anne is my Sister in Law) I just had to comment, I have one just like your sweet little girl, My dad smiles that "secret-payback smile" every time he hears a new Payton story! I can so relate.
I love the plastic bum! And I want our shrimpy boys to get together and be friends. My Logan is the shortest in his class and he tells me that everyday. But then we talk about how he's the fastest and smartest. I hope it makes up for being the shortest. He's seems fine with it, but I'm not. Not that I expected anything different. Wow, I'm really going on about this.
Now, I'm so sorry your daughter ates you. So sorry. But it is just so cute when they say it in their baby voice. Our youngest should get together too. She's my naughtiest and says things the other kids never dared. It is a good thing that they are cute... then it is harder to get really mad.
I could keep going with my thoughts but I'll stop. It's late. Have fun at work tonight!
We don't have the shrimpy problem here - my middle child is almost taller than his older brother. They're predicting like 6'4" or something crazy for him. Can't relate there.
But, the whole sassy girl thing? Oh yes, indeed. Mine says equally nasty things to me all the time. I just smile and think that someday she will get me. It might not be until she has one of her own, but SOMEDAY.
P.S. LOVE the plastic bum. I need one of those.
You're too funny! I just love all the CRAP the little stinkers say! It really is lucky they are as cute as they are!
My mom says that you always get one "worse" than you. My mom was a nightmare & she got one worse. (I don't know who it was, ha ha) & she promises me I will have one worse too. Yay, something to look forward to!
Don't worry about not knowing anyfing, Sammy told me my bum was GINORMOUS!! that's fabulous!!
Sorry I laughed, but that was funny. Girls are so dramatic, that is why I don't know if I really want one. She would bull doze me over if she became anything like me!
You're so fabulous. Soon enough she will be begging your forgiveness. Your kids are so cute! That makes up for it.
When my oldest was 3 1/2 she told me that she hated me and wanted to live with one of my friends that had a little boy her age. So I opened the door and put her out on the front porch and told her she'd better get going then. She cried. I'm soooo mean I know. Joe came home (3 minutes later and I was watching out the front window the whole time because I'm paranoid) and she was sitting on the front steps crying. His first words to her were, what did you do? I think it was a couple months later she tried it again and so I started walking towards the front door and she screamed I don't wannna goooo. She didn't do it again.... :)
Gracie doesn't ate me, she just laughs at me when I try to discipline her lately. Okay, not laughs, but smirks. It makes me completely and totally insane. She is also very much like moi. Bummer.
#3 is right. We don't know ANYFING. Bummer again.
Love the plastic bum picture. Third bummer...but in a good way. Good heck I am a nerd.
Now SHE sounds like a firecracker. Heehee... you must be so proud! I am dealing with the same issues with my three year old.
Love the missing teeth. LOVE them.
We went through a tooth experience just recently too. Check my blog for that one. Levi has lost 3 teeth... in kindergarten AND he is the teeniest one in his clas... by a mile. So he's toothless AND he's small. Poor kid.
I'm sorry your daughter 'ate's you. I think the tiny tap on the bum was the right choice (but it still made me smile really big. SOrry about that).
p.s. I noticed you linked me. Wow. Thank-you oh so very much. I will return the favor. I was going to anyway...
Ouch! I am so not looking forward to the day I hear that phrase from my kids. I know it will not go over well. I have a fiesty Gracie, so I have no doubt my day will come.
Oh, those are some low blows. Good job taking it in stride.
I wish my bum looked as good as the plastic bum. Do you think anyone would notice if I stuck one on the outside of my swimsuit???
Post a Comment