All I Want For Christmas Is A Waist (My New Fantasy Friday!)

As you all know (or at least have figured out by now) I'm a blogging baby. Sort of a "virgin" if you will. I mean, it's not my first time anymore, so not really a virgin so to speak, but you get the point. In my blogging research, as I've browsed many of your blogs I've learned about memes such as Thursday Thirteen and Friday Feast, etc. I love reading these and appreciate the thought process they create and therefore decided to start my own. Not like I'm trying to start a revolution or anything.
I don't expect anyone to follow suit and form the "Fantasy Friday Forum" (although that would be kinda cool...). (On the other hand, in the wrong setting this topic could get way off-colored...hmm...maybe that's why no one's ever come up with a fantasy friday...or maybe they have and I just don't frequent those kinds of blogs...)
Anyway...Fantasy Friday. It's my blog and I can do what I want!!
My first FF topic is my one and only Christmas wish. My ultimate fantasy at this point.
I want a waist.
I mean, a real waist. I want to be able to slide a tape measure off of my hips and onto my waist and actually be able to CINCH it. I try to cinch it now but it only makes me look like I'm packaging up a sausage.
I've never really had a waist. Even before I had my four kids I was sort of a box shape. A square. Neither an apple nor a pear...more like a granola bar. I actually used to buy boy's jeans in high school because they were the only style at the time that didn't incorporate an extra baggage section across the hips but still maintained enough room in the waist for me to sit without getting gas. I know what some of you are thinking...rough problem...but it didn't exactly make me the pick of the litter on date nights. I used to stuff shoulder pads in my bra just so I had some tiny semblance of a curve that didn't involve my head.
Since kids, of course, the problem has expanded. Literally. When I try to do a waist to hip ratio I end up with a whole number and some change. This Christmas, I want a fraction.
This isn't all about vanity, either. I'm carrying around an extra 15 lbs. of baby weight (can I still call it that nearly 3 years after the fact?) and 13 of those are resting comfortably around my middle. According to the American Heart Association, this is the most dangerous place to carry such poundage. So I not only look like I wedged myself in a life preserver, I am also putting myself at increased risk for heart disease.
And seeing as how the area formerly known as my waist is the first place I gain, you would think it would be the first place I'd lose.
WRONG.
The more I exercise, the skinnier my legs and butt get and the more I resemble a corn dog.
What is a girl to do? I'm afraid my only hope is Santa and a wish. I know the noble thing to wish for would be world peace or Britney Spears getting her life together but those things actually have a snowball's chance. Me and a waist?? Well, that's the stuff Fantasy Fridays are made of.

I'm Scared of Teenagers!

My oldest child is only nine so I know I have some time before I need to worry about raising a teenager. (Although he's 9 1/2 which makes teenagedom only about 3 years away...yikes!) And he is a boy and not subject to some of the skanky role models that seem to be plastered all over my television. In fact, my only daughter is not quite two yet so I know I shouldn't worry about it too much yet.
That being said, I can't help but worry. Britney Spears just shaved her head, added two new tattoos and then promptly checked herself into rehab. Personally, I have never been a fan but know there are millions of teeny-boppers out there that idolize her and someday my daughter might be one of them. Hopefully Ms. Spears will be totally out of the limelight by the time my little one is old enough to idolize anyone but me, but I'm certainly not naive enough to think there won't be ten more just like her by then.
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid - the list goes on and on. No, these girls aren't teenagers anymore but they are the role models for such and I can't help but wonder how many 17 year olds stopped wearing underwear once some of these girls made it headline news?
I live in a small town where everybody knows everybody and thankfully, it's just not "cool" to be skanky. The teenagers around here are good kids with good values and good heads on their shoulders. My boys worship Drake and Josh and The Naked Brothers Band from Nickelodeon but they also worship the starting five on our high school basketball team and I'm grateful for that - they are role models I want my kids watching. They are good-looking kids that work hard at school, (most of them Academic All-Staters) at sports and at their church and community service. This weekend we are going to the 2A State Basketball Championship where our boys and girls teams are #1 seeds in the tournament. Once we return, I know my boys will pick one of our high school starters to mimick when they're outside shooting hoops on our home court. There's not one of them that would make me cringe. On the other hand, I have to carefully monitor which NBA stars my boys want to become most like.
Why is it that the more trouble a celebrity gets into, the more their stock goes up? Why do we hear so little about the people that just try to live a good life? This is why teenagers scare me. It is going to be up to me to isolate the good stories and bring them to the forefront of my kids' minds when the worldwide media is working against me. The responsibility I have as a parent is so overwhelming to me and I know the world is only going to get worse as my children get closer to caring about what goes on outside of their little circles.
I know I can't keep all of the negative influences away from my kids and I know they aren't sheltered from the outside world just because we live where we do. But I wonder - if I blow up pictures of some of our high school basketball stars and turn them into posters to plaster around my kids' rooms, maybe the outside influences won't seem so important as the superstars they see everyday around town.