Randoms

I am dedicating this post to my bro-in-law. You know who you are. Talk about the ultimate closet reader. At Thanksgiving the topic of my blog came up. I was asking my sis if she'd checked it out yet. The answer was no (rude) but OK because it turns out Bro-in-law checks it out religiously and gives her updates. He was totally making fun of it, telling the rest of the family how completely nuts I am, which I forgave after I realized he knew details about every single post. I'm like his morning coffee. He just can't get enough of me. Here's to you, Bro!

The radio guys yesterday were laughing about a video on YouTube of Donny Osmond dancing to Weird Al's spoof called "White and Nerdy". Had to check it out. Laughed the snot right outta my nose. All you guys that were drooling over Donny will love this. The boy's got some MOVES. Not to mention stamina. Ummm....

(there is a YouTube video below, for some reason it's not showing up. Just click in the blank area and you'll get there. Sorry...I'll fix as soon as I can!)


I registered for the Canyonlands Half Marathon this week. It's a lottery pick, so who knows if I'll get drawn. I ran it last year. It was a blast. Even when 90% of the entrants over 85 years old finished before me. I think two little geriatrics were behind me. But not by much. I'm excited to give it another go this year. My pictures across the finish line last year were hideous. I tried to do the cool "raise your hands in the peace sign while you're crossing the finish line" thing. It made me look like a pigeon-toed-club-foot with serious under arm jiggle. And the boobs were bouncing in two different directions since my arms weren't down to hold them in place. This will be my year for redemption...from the geriatrics and the cameraman.
By the way, anyone that wants to join in on the fun, please do! It's in Moab, Utah on March 8, 2008. It's a gorgeous, mostly down hill run along the Colorado River. The entry deadline is Dec. 15th. Come join the fun!!!

http://www.moabhalfmarathon.org/halfm/halfm.html

#3 has a girlfriend. He's only four. Today at pre-school she presented him with a picture of Lightning McQueen that she had colored just for him. His eyes got all wide and he got a goofy grin and then he said, "Thanks Bewwa (Bella)! I weawy wuv cars!" I had to give him props on his manners. Ladies loovvveee the manners. Hubby said they were holding hands in primary on Sunday, too. He's been bit by the love bug.

I got a Christmas card in the mail today. I am so bummed. I procrastinated a day too long and someone beat me to the punch. I so wanted to get the first cards out this year. And the card I got was generic, too. It wasn't a photo card or anything. I had my photo cards ready a week ago!! So sad. Anyway, I am posting one here today so at least I can say I got some out today, too. I apologize to those of you who will get one in the mail as well and therefore have two. It's not that I think you need two cards from us. I just wanted to be first!!!

(Names have been removed to protect the innocent. It really is cuter in person. And it's not pink and brown, it's red and green and brown.)

And in an effort to give props where props are due, I got my cards at www.invitingsmiles.com

After I had ordered these, I saw some great sites from fellow bloggers, too. I would have used one of them had I seen them in time.

Once upon an Oprah tale

First of all, thanks for all the tips and comments from my last post. Costco is sending a new kitchen and UPS still sucks. On a brighter note, DHL came today with 9 boxes (9 very large boxes) and boy what a difference. DHL Boy rang my door bell (only once) waited till I answered (unheard of) and made sure I was the right customer (a first in shipper etiquette). Then he proceeded to tell me he had 9 very large boxes that he assumed were Christmas presents (what gave that away?) and asked me where I would like them unloaded (you're asking?). He loaded them methodically in my garage, storing the boxes with pictures in the back so the anonymous boxes covered them up. Then, THEN (are you sitting down?) he knocked again to make sure I was happy with where he'd set things. I wanted to hug him (though the B.O. force field he had up around him kept me at bay). I did, however, tell him my UPS Girl story and thanked him over and over for being so courteous. Go figure.

Now on to the goods. Some of you would like to know how I ended up on Oprah. Hubby is reading this right now and shuddering, I guarantee it. Oh well.

It happened like this. 9/11 hit and threw us all for a loop. I visited Oprah's site (I was a much bigger fan back then) and clicked a link that asked "How has 9/11 affected you?". I started typing, clicked send and never thought about it again. Three weeks later the first producer called to chat. A second producer called a day later to chat with Hubby. A week after that, an entire production crew flew into my tiny little town and shook things up!

It was an interesting experience, to say the least. The topic of the show was "What Matters Most". Apparently (I honestly can't remember what I wrote) my email had talked about how things in our marriage had been a little shaky and how I had taken my Hubby and kids for granted up until that tragedy. (If we're being honest though, who wouldn't have said something similar?) Anyway, once the producers got to our humble abode, they reminded me a bit of the Donahue show. They sort of fished for the answers they wanted and skipped over the stuff that wasn't juicy enough. By the time we'd finished taping our segment, Hubby and I were both feeling pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing but how do you call Oprah and say "Thanks, but no thanks!".

I think it was a week or so after that that we were to fly to Chicago (yes, our room was at the "All Suite Omni Hotel") but lo and behold, we got stuck in some crazy weather in Denver (the pilot called them 'microbursts') that kept us from landing until after our connecting flight to Chicago had departed. We ended up spending the night in an airport hotel (courtesy of "O") and watching our show at home the next afternoon. They still ran our segment, but we were spared the front row seat with Dr. Phil. (Oh yes, it was a Dr. Phil show. Can you imagine???) At the end of the taping, Oprah commented on my cute boys. That was the definite highlight.

So, there you have it. I never made it to the studio for our taping but 5 months later 3 girlfriends and I went to Chicago and the producer from our segment hooked us all up with front row seats to a taping. Ironically, it was a Dr. Phil show (all before he got his own).

Just so you know...I've never sent in another email to Oprah.

Oh, and for fun, here's the link to the show. I don't think any of the video works but if you click on the gallery, we're the 5th pic (I think). Notice how young #1 and 2 are (ooh they're soooo cute!). And check out my sweet hair. NOT Hubby's fave.

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_past_20011009.jhtml

I Hate UPS (and other such shippers at Christmas)

I'm having a waz with UPS today. Well, right at this moment, actually. I was just getting ready to sit down and check out the ole blog for the first time since the holiday when my door bell rings - twice. I figure it's my cleaning ladies, bless their little hearts. They never knock even though they ALWAYS come during nap time. But that is neither here nor there. My door bell rings twice so I run to the front door in an effort to keep whomever from ringing a third or fourth time. But, what a second...no one is there! Is someone door bell ditching me in the middle of the afternoon? Are we in third grade again? And just as I'm closing the door, (eyeing all my neighbors front blinds to try and catch a snickering prankster) the UPS girl peels out of my driveway and down the street. I'm a little peeved that she didn't wait for me to answer, but giddy all the same as I'm anticipating this to be my first Christmas delivery. I've been faithfully tracking all of my purchases for days now as 90% of my Christmas shopping was done online this year.

So, I skamper through my house and out to the garage, wondering which shipment I get to dig through first. I click the garage door opener and see two boxes. One tidy little brown box, anonymous and intact. I figure this one to be my christmas cards. (Yay! It's after Thanksgiving so I can send them out tomorrow!!! Wahoo! And then post one here, of course.)
But then I take a good look at the second box. This is what I saw.








Please notice the condition of the box. I did nothing to this box before I took these pictures. I wish I had a way to add audio for you all, t00, (remember, I'm a bloginner) so you could hear what I heard as I moved the box around. It sounds like a set of broken dishes. And you can't see it in these pics, but there is actually a screw sticking out of the bottom of the box. Gee, I wonder how many more of those managed to escape during transit?

The other thing I would like you all to take note of is the non-anonymity of this box. Hello? Is it not Christmas? Could we not all assume that this might be a Christmas Present? What in the world is UPS Girl doing leaving this in broad daylight? I mean, if she thought I wasn't home, how would placing it right in front of the garage I come and go by be the safest place? The box is as big as my child. Do we really think she wouldn't notice it?

I'm at a loss here. I had no intention of setting this thing up right away, for obvious reasons (such as where to store a fully assembled kitchen where four little snoopies wouldn't find it or notice it draped under a large sheet). But now, I almost have to, just to be sure all the pieces are there. I mean, I can just hear the expletives coming out of Hubby's mouth in the wee hours of Christmas morning when he's looking for one last screw that fell out somewhere between here and Taiwan (or wherever the dang thing hails from).

Or, do I call Costco and ask them to please send a replacement right away, just in case? And can I demand it be wrapped in pillows before shipping? What to do? Can I refuse a package based solely on the condition of the box, even though UPS Girl has already come and gone? UGGHHH. This was the one gift I was THE most excited about. I should have know it would inevitably turn out to be my biggest headache.

To Hubby

First of all, please notice the new pics of the kids on the right. Thanks to all of you who cared enough to ask for them! I'm excited to have their little facing gracing my blog finally!

Now, on a little more serious note, I'd like to dedicate this post to my hubby. As much as he gives me crap for spending time on this thing, I know he's a closet reader. I'm banking on him seeing this sometime today.
Being that I'm getting myself in the thankful spirit, I would like to thank Hubby for being Hubby. I do not do this enough. I am the queen of back-handed compliments. I thank him for folding the laundry (every single time) but ask why he didn't put any of it away. I never just stop with the thank you. I thank him for loading the dishwasher (every night) but ask why he didn't wipe off the stove. I could go on and on about these little exchanges but for once, in front of God and Country, I am only going for the thanks.

Hubby:

• Thanks for folding the laundry every time I wash it. (In fact, thanks for doing the laundry more often than I do in the first place!)

• Thanks for cooking dinner for the kids every night I work.

• Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen after said dinners.

• Thanks for getting all four kids to daycare/school in the mornings when I sleep. (I know how hard it is for me to do it. Thanks for never once complaining about this one.)

• Thanks for putting up my Christmas light during the Michigan vs. Ohio State game. (This one was huge.)

• Thanks for getting the boys ready for church every Sunday while I get myself ready. We both know if I would get started earlier, I could help more, but I never do and you always step up.

• Thanks for buying milk when I forget.

• Thanks for taking care of the dog even though it was my big idea to get him.

• Thanks for letting me Tivo all my shows and watch them on the big screen while you watch the game on the little TV.

• Thanks for letting me add two new shows to the said Tivo list this year.

• Thanks for letting me sleep in on your days off.

• Thanks for letting me pick where we go for dinner every time we get to go out.

• Thanks for telling me you really want to start eating healthy too every time I start a new diet.

• Thanks for being the kind of dad that wrestles with his boys and snuggles with his little girl.

• Thanks for being the kind of dad that this mom can leave home alone three nights a week and know that everything will be OK.

• Thanks for putting up with one moody, narcissistic, overly picky, gone too much, stressed out wife. You really rock.

Bragging

I've been up since 5am this morning (after falling asleep for the night at 4am - no lie - but that's a whole different sonnet) and I'm a little blurried eyed, but I'm going to post. And in this post I'm going to brag.
For the first time in my life, I am officially done Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve. Yes. You heard me. I am done. And it's not even December yet. And we're talking EVERYTHING. I have presents, stocking stuffers, Christmas Eve jammies, neighbor gifts, kids' friends gifts and even my Christmas Cards. (They shipped last week so I expect them any day now.) I would like to mail my cards out but decided it would be way neurotic so I am waiting till December 1st. At which point I will post one here, just to show off some more. Know what else? I even have my Christmas lights up. And on my way home from work tonight, I noticed you could see my house from Main Street, which is 8 blocks away. Hubby asked me please to wait at least till after Thanksgiving to turn them on but I can't help myself. I even thought I'd post a picture of them here tonight but couldn't because they keep shorting out. I think I have too many extension cords hooked into too many extension cords...
Anyway...Merry Christmas everyone!
Oh yeah...and Happy Thanksgiving, too.

No Life Friday Night

I found this one on lindseyzufelt.blogspot.com tonight and couldn't resist. (I know I said I was done but the kids are in bed now and Hubby is gone...I don't have a problem. I don't, I don't , I DON'T)
Anyway, I find it interesting that more than half of my look-alikes are men and one is Asian at that. I must admit - it's a titch depressing sitting in front of a computer (still bra-less) on a Friday night and discovering you look 74% like an Asian Man. Wow.

Pathetic Me

I'm officially and totally addicted to this blogging thing. Just so you all know how pathetic I am, I got up at noon after working a night shift, picked up my kids, put the little two down for naps, then sat at the computer. Guess what? I'm STILL here. Bra-less. Make-up-less. Fresh Deodorant-less. And totally buggy-eyed from staring at this screen.
My kids have since gotten up, made their own dinner (PB&J Uncrustables, slices of processed cheese, Kudos, Yo-Gos and Junior Mints) and are now unfolding all the laundry (that was folded when I started this today) in an attempt to get my attention.
That being said...I'm getting off my computer. But I wanted to mention a couple of new links I posted (in my frequent sites) to some very funny blogs I found today. If it makes me laugh out loud, I have to share.

All I Want For Christmas Is A Waist (My New Fantasy Friday!)

As you all know (or at least have figured out by now) I'm a blogging baby. Sort of a "virgin" if you will. I mean, it's not my first time anymore, so not really a virgin so to speak, but you get the point. In my blogging research, as I've browsed many of your blogs I've learned about memes such as Thursday Thirteen and Friday Feast, etc. I love reading these and appreciate the thought process they create and therefore decided to start my own. Not like I'm trying to start a revolution or anything.
I don't expect anyone to follow suit and form the "Fantasy Friday Forum" (although that would be kinda cool...). (On the other hand, in the wrong setting this topic could get way off-colored...hmm...maybe that's why no one's ever come up with a fantasy friday...or maybe they have and I just don't frequent those kinds of blogs...)
Anyway...Fantasy Friday. It's my blog and I can do what I want!!
My first FF topic is my one and only Christmas wish. My ultimate fantasy at this point.
I want a waist.
I mean, a real waist. I want to be able to slide a tape measure off of my hips and onto my waist and actually be able to CINCH it. I try to cinch it now but it only makes me look like I'm packaging up a sausage.
I've never really had a waist. Even before I had my four kids I was sort of a box shape. A square. Neither an apple nor a pear...more like a granola bar. I actually used to buy boy's jeans in high school because they were the only style at the time that didn't incorporate an extra baggage section across the hips but still maintained enough room in the waist for me to sit without getting gas. I know what some of you are thinking...rough problem...but it didn't exactly make me the pick of the litter on date nights. I used to stuff shoulder pads in my bra just so I had some tiny semblance of a curve that didn't involve my head.
Since kids, of course, the problem has expanded. Literally. When I try to do a waist to hip ratio I end up with a whole number and some change. This Christmas, I want a fraction.
This isn't all about vanity, either. I'm carrying around an extra 15 lbs. of baby weight (can I still call it that nearly 3 years after the fact?) and 13 of those are resting comfortably around my middle. According to the American Heart Association, this is the most dangerous place to carry such poundage. So I not only look like I wedged myself in a life preserver, I am also putting myself at increased risk for heart disease.
And seeing as how the area formerly known as my waist is the first place I gain, you would think it would be the first place I'd lose.
WRONG.
The more I exercise, the skinnier my legs and butt get and the more I resemble a corn dog.
What is a girl to do? I'm afraid my only hope is Santa and a wish. I know the noble thing to wish for would be world peace or Britney Spears getting her life together but those things actually have a snowball's chance. Me and a waist?? Well, that's the stuff Fantasy Fridays are made of.

I Want My ZOE!!!

#4 is a funny child. I've referred to her as a SheDevil and she kind of is. I will try not to use this phrase as often now that she's getting old enough to understand it. The last thing I need is for her to try to live up to something...
Anyway, she's the only girl, the baby and such a princess. I don't know where she came from, growing up with three older brothers that don't possess a feminine bone among them. And I'm not overly prissy either. (At least I don't think I am.) I've become this creation of my husband that knows more about sports than I care to. I'm like his trick pony.
"Honey...tell 'em what Broxton's ERA was this year!" as he slaps me on the back.
I'm just expected to know these things. If he comes home after coaching a game and asks what I thought of a certain play and I don't know what play he's talking about... Not so good. Not that he gets mad or anything. There's just this total disappointment written across his face that's asking "What exactly were you doing at the game then?"
But back to the point at hand. #4 is her own little breed. And she's figured out how to run the show. We're trying very hard to reprimand her for throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way (since this occurs a whopping 13.4% of the time). And of course, I'm the bad guy. I'm the one home all day so I'm the one accused of "spoiling" her. Which also means I'm the one in charge of "fixing" her. (Hubby sat me down a few weeks ago, looked me in the eye, and made me PROMISE that it would get better. IT, of course, being raising a girl.)
I'm sort of a yeller by nature and though it's something I'm always trying to do better at, it's worked OK with the boys. Not so much with #4. If I even take my breath in too sharply like I'm getting ready to yell, her little lip puckers and her eyes water. So I'm taking a more "grown up" approach with her.
I sit her down and say, "#4. Look at me. We are not going to whine, OK?"
If she agrees, I get a contrite little, "O-Tay mommy." and a hug.
If not, I get a wailing, "I want my daddy!" as she throws her head back.
I do not give up, I simply hold her a little closer and calmly tell her that her daddy is at work, at which point she moves on down the line.
She asks for #1, then learns he's at school.
She asks for #2, and learns he's also at school.
She asks for #3, who is sitting right next to her during this little fit. When I point this out to her, she pauses somewhat confused, then moves on to Dam-ma.
She works her way through all the Dam-mas and Dam-pas and then gives up when she realizes no one is going to save her from the big bad mommy. It's getting to be quite the little routine, but it works and doesn't involve yelling.
Yesterday, she didn't give up though.
We went through the whole list and just as I was getting ready to let out a sigh of relief when we got to the grandparents, she sprung a new one on me.
"I want my Zoe!!"
"What?" I was dumbfounded. This was a new one. "What did you say?"
Again, an octave higher..."I want my Zoe!"
"The cat?"
Sniffles now as she nods her head.
The cat. She's asking for our cat, Zoe.
She wins. I mean, how can I argue with that? If the cat will make her happy, fine. Let her have the cat.
"OK. Let's go get Zoe." I sigh as I put her down.
"O-Tay mommy." She smiles as she runs in another room to play. She doesn't think twice about the cat. It was all a ploy and she won. She totally beat me...again.

Best Mama Award

I thought I'd update the ear story here quickly. We all remember Family Doc telling us the ears looked great...maybe a little bit of fluid behind the right ear? What I didn't mention was that he gave me the option of starting #2 on some antibiotics, 'just in case'. I also failed to mention that I, being somewhat of a minimalist mom, turned down the offer graciously.
One of the bad things about being a nurse and mother is that we see so many people wanting a quick cure where there is none and jumping on every opportunity to use antibiotics in their quest for that said cure. And because of that, we 'nurse moms' tend to go to the other extreme with a whole bunch of Tylenol and "You'll be fine."
This time, I blew it. All four kiddos spent the weekend at Granny's down south so that I could work and Hubby could hit the State Football game. I got a call from Granny on Saturday saying #2 had a fever and complained of his ears hurting...again. I told her to try some Motrin and decided we'd get back to see Family Doc Monday. Short story long, I snuck #2 in the ER Monday morning where Family Doc was on call and lo and behold:
One ruptured ear drum (not the one he complained about, by the way) with bookoo drainage and...
One nicely infected ear (this one he did complain about).
So, here's my award to myself.
We're now on antibiotics, decongestants, prescription cough syrup, and pain relieving ear drops. You name it, he's on it. And he feels great.
And as much as I'd like to say I learned my lesson, I'm pretty sure I haven't. Just give me a couple of weeks and I'll be dishing out the Tylenol "Buck Up!"s all over again!

Tagged

I've been tagged. Apparently what this means is now I have to post 6 facts/habits about myself and then tag others to do the same. Here it goes...

1. I'm obsessed with my bath tub. I have been known to take 2 bubble baths in one day (and that's after a shower). I get the water as hot as I can stand it and stay in until the very last drop of sweat trickles down my face. I usually take a book, a diet coke and some kind of goodie in with me as I'm in so long I really need nourishment (yes, diet coke is nourishment). Once, I got in right after I put #3 and #4 down for a nap and I was still in an hour and a half later when #3 came downstairs and said, "Wow. You've been in da baf a wong time mom."

2. I drink more Diet Coke than water. I don't know how my kidneys haven't crystalized by now. I drink it any time, day or night and I have to make myself drink a glass of water before bed, just for good measure. Last night at work some of the nurses thought they'd get a little funny and hide my last ice cold coke of the night. I got mad. Really mad. I thought someone had stolen it and started accusing one of the nursing students till the other nurses laughed and pulled in out of their hiding place. Ha Ha...NOT funny.

3. I love the Indigo Girls. Those who know me best know this already but I'm discovering more and more people out there who have never even heard of them. Are you serious? Who's never heard of "The Girls"? (Besides my dad) I've loved them since I was in 9th grade and own every album ever made. If you call my phone, it's my ring back and everyone comments about it...I mean EVERYONE. My girls are still singing along when I answer and everyone else is appalled or disgusted or just plain confused. Get with the program people!! Indigo Girls Rock!

4. I used to be famous for my chicken dance. This is something Hubby wishes I would keep quiet. Very few people in my present life even know what the chicken dance is, but those of you who do can honestly say you've laughed until tears came out your ears. My kids have never even seen the chicken dance. I plan to save it until they have their first boy/girl party in junior high. (insert evil laugh here)

5. I've never had a ticket. Ever. I've run into a parked car (twice), driven up a curb and popped a tire, backed into a pole that apparently was stationary at the time. I even ran a red light once and broad-sided a car in downtown Oakland and never got a ticket. The cop felt so bad for me after the irate black woman that I hit jumped out of her car and ran up to me screaming things I've never heard in my life from .25 of an inch away from my face that he took my insurance info and let me go. Knock on wood, I know, but it's true. Perfect record.

6. I was in a REALLY bad "made-for-late-night-cable" television show called "Miracles and Other Wonders" when I was a junior in high school. I was the lead role in a 15-20 minute segment. I had to fake cry. It was really bad. I keep a copy of it hidden somewhere, just for proof, but have never busted it out except once to show Hubby (who laughed so hard he snorted). Sadly, it actually aired at least once that I know of, about 5 years after the fact. I was visiting my parents and ran into an old family friend who couldn't wait to tell me they'd seen me on TV. I can only pray that was the last time.

OK...that wasn't so bad. Now, Cami, the Other Amy and Tamber...Tag! You're it!

Need a Laugh?

Put your drink down first. It's a good one.
The Top 10 Album Covers of All Time.

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/9374